rajy's journal ♥

location: UMB

mood: exhausted

music: nite runner - timberlake & duran duran

Let's try this again. I update after a few months with a big long entry and end up deleting it. I'm going to keep this simple, short and to the point. I'm in school right now. Should be in English but I'm lounging in the Campus Center. Everyone around me is out cold, lol. So I started work. Dude, I am so overwhelmed. I was trained by this girl who was real nice on Thursday. Everything she did/said was contradicted by the guy who trained me yesterday. He was cute, but I am so confused. Today I'm going to have my own "workstation". (This is going to be a disaster.) I'm still UNDECIDED. I feel like such a failure. I'm more confused then ever, if that's even possible. And I've become wicked independent. I don't talk to anyone. It's school, home, cereal, work, home, some sort of dinner, shower, tv/bed. And in between is me and my headphones. This weekend we painted my uncle's entire house. He just bought a new home, so we painted every room in the house a different color. Fun, but I havn't had a break in 3 weeks. & This hour and fifteen minutes is the only down time I'll have until Sunday. Omg, I want to go to a Sox game so bad. I get so jealous of people who are going. I can't believe I've only been to one game. The Red Sox are a major part of Rajdeep, can you tell I don't have a life? Baseball season is added stress. I can't just like something and let that be it. I have to be be overly obsessed. I hate that about me. I love Justin Tiimberlake, but his and Madonna's 4 Minutes is GAY. I've never liked a Madonna song, I don't see the appeal. The Friday Night Boys are a good band. They're like hellogoodbye + guitars and drums. I'm in an odd hiphip and r&b phase. I listen to tpain, timbaland, and chris brown like everyday. The Used 2008 album, Lies for Liars, is awesome. Download it. I don't feel liek going to any classes today. I would've stayed home but my dad's sister is visting from New Jersey, and I didn't even know he had brothers and sisters til last week. And my mom is still recovering from her surgery, so home would be a bit chaotic. So there is one thing that's been bothering me. I try to ignore it as much as possible, but idki get like knots in my stomach everytime it comes up. 4 letters, probably the most used word on my lj, sounds like bike, lol. Idk but 'situation ela' puts me in this awkward type of vibe. I don't know why it really bothers me. I don't know why it's coming up again or what to do. Like I try to ignore it cuase what else am I supposed to do? I don't really talk to anyone and plus it's kind of dumb. I just don't know why it bother's me so much. Maybe if I ignore it, it will eventually go away. Maybe? Well, that's about it. We'll see if this entry survives until tomorrow. Not going to economics and then going to work-pray for me =)