rajy's journal ♥

I havn't been on LJ in forever. I think I still have entries from May on the first page. Classes end Thursday, and finals on Monday. I promise myself next semester I'll go to class-everytime. PROMISE. Other than that, nothings been up. My iPod's been acting crazy. Instead of coming out with the same mp3 player in different versions, they need to fix iTunes, asap. Oh, fun fact: I've been through 8 pairs of headphone in *07. My really good ones broke last night, so make it 9. This entry blows. I finally got my license. I'm such a scared driver though, so I don't drive. I think I should just live at the gym in order to get where I'll actualy feel somewhat ok with myself. And tell me how everyone at the gym is stick thin, seriously. Apparently, I'm shouldn't have gone this long without trying any drugs or alcohol. I should have atleast tried it, I've been told. Taylor's determined to get me drunk this year. So she's taking me with her to a Harbor Point party or whatever. I'm def. not going, willingly. Even if I do end up going, you know I'd do abs. nothing, and leave 20 minutes in. Obv. But I do really want to know what I'd be like drunk.







p.s. i <3 my background music. a lot. like, a whole lot.

there'll come a day
when you walk out of my dreams
face to face, like i'm imagining
how can I be sure
that you're the one i'm waiting for
will you be
unmistakable ♥

Okay, so I was out of my "I'M THE MOST HIDEOUS PERSON ON THIS PLANET" phase. Now I was kind of in, "HEYYYY I'M NOT SO BAD." phase. Can you believe I called myself cute today. ? Well, doesn't matter. I'm back into the hideous phase. Why? Because I got my pictures today. I saw them and wanted to cry. Conclusion: o1.I'm going to shave my head o2.I'm never going to eat again.


Other than that major self-esteem killer, my week had been semi-ok. I asked Mrs. Cobb. YA-frickin-HOO. More people in the HS know my sister, than know me. She has more friends in the HS, too. Lol, pathetic much? ____ said hi to me. ? He hasn't said a word to me since last October. And today? I havn't liked him since early November anyway. Thanks for ignoring me the last 508 times.


Oh, and then there's Heather. OMG. She's screaming for attention, and it pisses me off. If she was in my place, she would have killed herself by now just for the attention.

I don't get it. Everything's just fine and overnight BOOM I'm never talking to her again. I didn't even like him that much but it annoys me greatly. It would bother me no matter who it was. Cause then I, Ms. Negative, feel like there's something wrong with me. Tuesday everything was just super. Didn't see him Wednesday. Thursday he totally ignored me. A whole week of this. I knew this was going happen, too. I'm such an ass.



On a much brighter note, i'm learning how to play the drums. I'm in a band! And if we're good enough by then, we're entering the talent show. We've got everything we need. All the instruments. Band members. A cool name. And talent, of course. We're going to be practicing on weekends hopefully. I'm so excited. No one pays attention to the drummer. No one blames a bad performance on the poor drummer. Perfect.



where did I go wrong, I lost a friend,
somewhere along in the bitterness and
I would have stayed up with you all night
had I known how to save a life.
<3333

mood: amused

music: bury your head-saosin

Three years ago, on this day, I had a post titled: ashley n zlatan.


We thought we were the coolest freshmen. Lol. We're so gaaaayyyy.